A Strong Woman

Whenever I go to India, I’m mesmerized by the women there. A mother wakes up before her family, barters with the sabzi wala, lifts baskets of food and clothing over her head, teaches her kids the lessons of everyday, makes her husband homecoming an event every night, and lays in her bed after everyone else has gone to sleep. Give this feat to her child or her husband, and they would buckle under the pressure. But this same woman whose home would not function without, who in my eyes is the strongest person, physically and emotionally, is actually completely vulnerable.

It strikes me as ironic that a Southasian woman can hold these opposite virtues and not let one overpower the other. If tomorrow her family were to leave, if her husband were to not exist, where would this woman go? She’d become helpless. A woman who others would feel helpless without, becomes helpless when there is no one there to support her. What is this dependency women have on their men that can cripple them at any moment?

I have no doubt in my mind that it is the financial dependence which binds us to the men we’re meant to live our life with. I have never looked down at the duty of a housewife because it is the hardest job in the world. There are no vacations, not even lunch breaks. What a homemaker does in her home can make or break a family’s ability to be successful. But along with being dependent on another person in any aspect of your life comes the problem of what would happen if things were to change.

Financial dependence is tricky because those who have it don’t see it as a problem. They are priveledged at the time, but the moment push comes to shove, the dependency starts to take a heavy toll. With the right education and/or opportunity, a woman can build financial independence. This doesn’t mean that that woman can not be a homemaker, that she must abandon her family. What it means is that if anything were to happen, she’d always know she could pick up the pieces and support herself. That she doesn’t need to turn to others for help and feel ashamed. Being prepared financially can bring about confidence and the ability to know you can keep going. You’re life is not determined by any other individual but yourself.

A woman can be the happiness of her child, the pride of her husband, and the light of a home, but before all that she needs to be her own rock that she can lean on.